A Gentle Reminder as the Year Closes: You’re Allowed to Be Selective This Holiday Season

As we wrap up the year, you are allowed to be selective about what you choose to do this holiday season.

Here we are in the last half of the year, and so much has happened. I can almost guarantee you are not the same person you were when the year began. At least, I know I am different.

This time of year naturally draws me into deep reflection — a private space I gift myself to appreciate the sheer miracle of being alive. To honor having navigated some very difficult times, alongside moments that touched me deeply and filled me with joy.

Honoring Our Feelings Without Judgment

I had a discussion with my doctor this week about the importance of allowing ourselves to feel the full depth of loss, grief, and sadness. Because the depth to which we allow ourselves to feel — and move through — those emotions will also represent the height at which we experience joy, warmth, and connection during happier times.

Our feelings are signals. They tell us that something needs attention.

If we feel immense frustration or anger, perhaps it’s because we are running ourselves ragged — doing things for everyone else while leaving our own wellbeing behind. Often, anger is a sign that our boundaries are being crossed or that we are not taking enough time to care for ourselves so we can remain grounded and calm.

We can also begin to notice how our emotions shift depending on the rooms we are in.

Have you ever noticed that you can be in an amazing frame of mind — cheerful and light — only to spend time with one person who completely shifts your mood? We don’t always realize how deeply the people and environments we surround ourselves with impact us. Literally, it affects our health. Our cortisol levels rise when we’re in situations that create unease — and unfortunately, for many, the holiday season can lend itself to exactly that kind of stress.

Letting Go of the “Perfect Holiday” Myth

The unrealistic expectations of having the perfect meal, being the perfect host, and projecting the image of the perfect family set us up for disappointment and exhaustion.

What if we tried a different approach?

What if we acknowledged that life isn’t easy for anyone — and that despite our differences, as long as there is respect and a shared desire to create warmth, the holidays can still bring sweet, meaningful moments?

Laugh at what doesn’t work out.

I remember years ago hosting a family dinner and attempting to make cheesecake for the first time. It didn’t turn out. I was so hard on myself that I actually cried. That young woman was doing her very best. How I wish I could hug her now and say: Yes, the cheesecake didn’t turn out — and no, it doesn’t make you any less worthy of love or appreciation.

A contented heart and a calm mind begin with giving ourselves grace. Only then can we truly extend grace to others.

For the Givers: Learning to Receive

Let’s talk about the givers.

Perhaps you’re the one who reaches out, makes the plans, pays for dinners, remembers birthdays, and keeps relationships alive. Givers must learn to receive — not only because it allows others to express love and appreciation, but because it energetically opens the cycle of abundance.

Those who cling tightly to money, time, or energy out of fear often find themselves with more worries than those who give with trust — believing that what they need will come.

This year, I became aware of where I had been over giving and unintentionally setting expectations that I would carry the majority of certain relationships. I stepped back to see whether effort would be reciprocated — and what I saw was eye-opening.

It helped me recognize my own role in that dynamic. I learned to acknowledge my worthiness to receive.

Perhaps we won’t receive from those we expect — but when we open ourselves to receiving, life shows us that relationships are meant to be reciprocal.

Just like rain clouds covering the land with water: if the earth didn’t receive and then release that water in a continuous cycle, life wouldn’t exist. The same is true for our hearts and souls.

Babies who are held, loved, and nurtured thrive. Those who receive only physical sustenance without affection are at greater risk, despite their basic needs being met. As adults, we are no different. We need connection, community, and love.

It’s essential that we choose our company wisely — not those who give the bare minimum, but those who show up with open hearts, as we do.

Permission to Choose Rest This Holiday Season

If you feel called to peace and quiet this holiday season — instead of filling your calendar to meet the expectations of others — listen.

Is your soul asking for time alone? Or quiet moments with your household, free from rushing around, only to find the holidays gone and yourself twice as exhausted when work resumes?

Why not shift things this year?

Dedicate a few non-negotiable days just for you. Time to decompress. Time to reflect on how far you’ve come, the lessons learned, and the gratitude you hold for those who will continue walking alongside you into 2026.

Closing the Year with Gratitude

As this year comes to a close, we have so much to be grateful for:

For making it to the end of this year. For the challenges we overcame — some too painful to speak about.

For the grace of a higher power that carried us through. For those who demonstrated unwavering friendship, love, and loyalty. And for our own inner strength — that quiet voice reminding us that tomorrow, the sun would rise beyond the clouds.

#HolidaySelfCare #EmotionalBoundaries #GiveYourselfGrace #RestIsProductive #InnerWork #MindfulLiving