The Bridges Model: A Compassionate Approach to Life’s Turning Points - How to move through Endings, the Neutral Zone, and New Beginnings with patience, self-compassion, and trust.

As many of you know, I like to keep a finger on the pulse of what’s happening in my community—and in my own life. From what I see in both, change is constant. As we approach September, children prepare to return to school, the seasons begin to shift, and eclipse season reminds us that transformation is in the air.

But while change might be inevitable, transition is rarely easy.

Some of the hardest transitions in my life came even when I felt the deep need for change. Whether it was the painful realization that a partnership had to end or the choice to leave a community I deeply loved because its beliefs no longer resonated with my truth—each moment felt like a breaking point.

The Wisdom of William Bridges

In his book Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, William Bridges outlines a powerful framework for navigating life’s major shifts. He describes transitions in three key stages, remarkably similar to the grief process we experience after the loss of a loved one:

1. Endings – Letting go of what was, even when it feels impossible.

2. The Neutral Zone – The in-between space where the old is gone, but the new hasn’t fully arrived.

3. New Beginnings – Stepping into a renewed life with fresh energy and purpose.

I first encountered this book during college while studying to become a Career and Work Counsellor. We had an entire course dedicated to transitions. If we were going to support clients through change, we first needed to understand our own reactions to it.

Many of my classmates, myself included, had to revisit challenging moments in our lives—some we had been avoiding. I remember one class vividly. We were watching a video on life transitions when I realized there were difficult decisions in my own life I could no longer ignore. The signs were clear as day. At the time, it felt like life as I knew it was ending. It wasn’t the future I had envisioned, and I was terrified.

The Fear of the Unknown

The unknown can be one of the scariest places to stand. What helped me through was realizing I wasn’t alone. The only thing I knew for certain was that staying where I was would prevent me from living authentically. I had no idea what the “new” would look like, but I began taking small, quiet steps toward it.

One mantra that helped during moments of overwhelm was:

“I don’t have to decide today.”

That single thought removed the pressure to rebuild my life in one day. Transition takes time. We are allowed to move at our own pace, even when the world pushes us to rush through the messiness.

Patience and Self-Compassion in the Process

The best decisions come from a calm mind and a clear plan. Support can often arrive from unexpected places—be willing to receive it. Seek help when you need it, and know you deserve guidance from professionals who can help make your transition gentler.

It’s also okay to rest. In a culture that praises constant productivity, our bodies pay the price by running on cortisol. If you feel tired, take a mental health day, go for a long walk, or simply pause. Your mind, body, and spirit will thank you.

A Reflection Exercise for Resilience

At a recent retreat, we were invited to create a three-column chart:

1. The Trial – List three of the most challenging situations you’ve experienced.

2. Your Response – What actions did you take to manage them?

3. Your Learning – What did you discover about yourself?

This exercise may bring you back to moments when life brought you to your knees, but it also reveals the strength, resilience, and resourcefulness you might have forgotten.

You may realize you were far stronger than you gave yourself credit for, that you could stand on your own when you thought you couldn’t, or that you discovered new abilities to help you through.

Finding Meaning in the Storm

If you believe in a higher power—God, the universe, your higher self—consider how a greater wisdom might have guided you through those moments when you wanted to give up. In the middle of the storm, it often feels like the end, but more often than not, there’s a better life waiting on the other side.

In those moments, you’re often closer to your true essence than you’ve ever been.

Your Journey Through Transition

If you’re navigating a transition right now and fear is creeping in, know this: it’s okay to be scared. The key is not to let fear paralyze you.

Move through each stage at your own pace. Be gentle with yourself. Accept help. And trust that, just like boarding a train without seeing every mile of track, you’ll arrive at a destination you can’t yet imagine—one that might just be more beautiful than you ever expected.

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